Beyond feelings: how your body holds what words can’t say

We often use the concept of “feeling” to describe how we relate to the various goings-on in our lives, our histories, and our relationships. But sometimes, this word misses the mark. Often, when we describe an experience with a feeling, the feeling itself loses its power to be felt. It’s bizarre because all we’re trying to do is communicate what we understand to be our emotional state.

Sometimes, we work tirelessly to find the right words, only to hear them back and realize they’re off-point, completely wrong, or, even worse, invalidating and infuriating. Other times, we simply have no idea how to find the words because we lack awareness of what is actually going on. Even after focused attention, detailed discussion, therapy, and journaling, we may still feel lost in what it is we are trying to uncover. The pursuit itself becomes overwhelming, trapping us in a cycle of thoughts and words.

So what happens here? What are we missing? What is the missing piece that allows us to unlock these feelings—to know and deeply understand what we are experiencing in any given moment?

Because that’s just it: we can’t feel what happened before, nor can we feel what we think is happening or what will happen in the future. So what is the answer?

What’s often missing is the embodiment of the experience: the sensations, the sight, smell, touch, sound, and taste. We overlook the messages our bodies are sending us. The tension in our chest becomes a symptom of anxiety. The euphoric energy sparked by the smell of our mother’s cooking gets reduced to mere happiness or satisfaction. But what is it that we are feeling? What is it that we are sensing?

In every moment, our body is in constant communication with itself. Messages are sent, and our bodies respond. We are allowed to sense these responses. These sensations are our truest feelings—the ones that, if we pay attention to them, can lead us to the places we want to go and the ones we avoid. They can show us the power we already embody, without needing practice or time.

When we turn our attention to the body, our feelings become clear and unabstract. In this space, we find sensation. We embody our emotions. We become integrated and attentive custodians of our own experience.